It was Miss Scarlett in the conservatory with the knife!

Well. What an interesting night I had. Remember the feather post? Yeah. Got those in the mail. I was way excited about them so asked Anne if she would help me put them in. I thought, she's crafty, I trust her, etc. Uhm. Yeah.

Lets set up these scene. First off, you need to know how you actually put these suckers in. Basically you have this little bead (think Indian bead but bigger) made out of metal. You have to put a chunk of hair through that, then stick the tips of the feathers underneath that, then clamp the bead with pliers so its holding the feathers and your hair together. Make sense? Great.

Anne and I march in to her bathroom to leave Mark and the basketball game in peace. We talk for a few minutes about where I want the feathers to be and I sit down. Anne tries to figure out how to thread the hair through the bead for a couple of minutes...and pretty soon we're ready to go. I hand her the feathers and she sticks them in the bead. It should be noted that at some point during this process Anne said atleast once, "okay...I'm not a moron." I. BEG. TO. DIFFER.

The picks up the "pliers". Oh. Why is that in quotations you ask? Hmm. Well. Because Anne didn't pick up pliers. Anne picked up wire cutters.

Pause for dramatic effect.

I hear a very loud SNAP next to my ear, Anne shoots across the room laughing so hard she can't even tell me what happened, and I look in the mirror to see stubble. STUBBLE. ON. MY. SCALP. I look at Anne's hands and sure enough -- she's holding all five feathers and a chunk of my hair. Whoopsies. No big deal. I mean...I don't have fine hair or anything. I didn't need those. Right? Wrong. It took about 20 minutes, but she eventually admitted, "I know see the error in my ways". Uh huh. I bet you do.

Why in the world would you think that wire cutters would clamp a bead shut. Take that one step further. Why in the world would you think that wire cutters wouldn't cut the chunk of hair you're holding in your hand? Shockingly, my hair is not stronger than wire. I am not Chuck Norris.

The Weapon:

So Anne. Thank you. You are officially off my "crafty helper person" list and officially on the "mothers who should go no where near people's heads with sharp objects" list. You and Mom are the only people on that list, by the way. Amy, I now understand the humiliation you must have felt when mom cut your hair when you were little and things went terribly awry.