'Ain't no Shake and Bake

I'm such a lucky little girl. My BFFFFFFFFFFFF Blake, also known as Poodle, made me dinner tonight. In the 10+ years that we have been friends, I'm pretty sure this is the first time we have ever eaten something at one of our places that isn't take out. Amazing. And who would have thunk it -- the boy can COOK! Full, fat and happy.

The Jumper from our Past

This deserves it's very own little post. My mother, god love her, still owns clothes from the 80's. Duh. I give my mom credit for actually caring what she looks like most of the time. If she goes out, she pulls herself together, very unlike most women past the age of 45 who have decided to give up. This is not a post to celebrate my moms efforts. This is...incredible. My mother has a jumpsuit from 1982 that has managed to stay in her wardrobe of "must-saves". I didn't realize this little gem had made it through all of these years until I show up at her new house for a painting party. Oh. My. Gosh. People are going to see you in that, Mom. You know people are coming over, right? Yeah. She knew. And I will say...after comments from me, my brother, AND my sister...she still rocked this ridiculous look with her head held high. Props mom. Props.

Shotty Times

When I worked at Cowboys Golf, I got two tickets to Medieval Times from a Christmas party. Worst gift ever, right? No. The On the Border breakfast coupons were worse.

I regifted them to Amy for Christmas that year because duh, if anyone I knew would go to Medieval Times, it would be Amy. She was actually pretty pumped about them. Shocking. I know. So about a year later when they are getting ready to expire, she somehow convinces me to go with her ensuring an amazing time. We initially had tried to get Anne and Mark to actually PAY for tickets and make a "thing" of it...but they declined because they have half of a brain.

That night was quite possibly one of my top 5 grossest experiences of my life. I knew it had something to do with

horses...but oh my god. I had no idea. We walked in, were handed our cardboard crowns (wait, what?), and immediately found the bar. This is the only logical decision we made all night. We bought a bottle of wine and asked for two glasses. Oh wait. Can we have two PLASTIC glasses because the glasses you just gave us have someones lipstick on them. Gag. We sit down in our seats probably sidestepping manure on the way next to a family of 5 that had very clearly paid for their tickets and were all kinds of excited to be there.

So I'm drinking the wenches brew from my goblet and here comes our own little wench-waitress pouring what I believe was old Cambell's Tomato soup out of a black caldren into our pewter bowl. Um, Amy? Where is the spoon? OH WAIT, we are in Medieval Times and they were too primitive to use silverware. Do we stick out like sore thumbs in our Marc Jacobs and Forever 21? Most likely, yes.

Now the show starts. This is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I'm so embarrassed for the men with their long nappy hair who come bounding into the arena on their white horses so proud that they have just been promoted to head knight at Medieval Times. I wonder if any of them are available....

About 4 minutes later, we look at each other and decide it's probably a good idea to peace out before the turkey legs get passed around. Here is a little snack for your viewing pleasure:

When God Closes a door....

....He opens another door that is bright teal and way cuter. :)

Blog Alert: WAY random post.

I was looking up kitchens online because my Mom is moving/painting her new place. Not sure how...but I came across this photo and fell in love. I have a door on my wall (...yeah....)...but not a door-door like this. I really want one though so I can paint it a bright color like this. How cute is that?? Only problem? You reaaaally have to commit to that with the black walls (which is why the door is cute, right?).

...That's about all I have. Told ya. Random post. xx

Sunday afternoon with Jack

Guess who came to visit?! :) Little Jack attack. He's so adult now! He runs around, asks for his Momma and is practically going to college next week. He doesn't even wobble anymore! What a little cutie. Hopefully Mom and Dad will let him come stay with me sometime when he's older. ;)

It was awesome of them to bring him over here and see my place. Can't wait for the day that he actually remembers who I am from one visit to the next. :) Oh...and for him to grow hair. He's a smart little buddy...but hasn't quite mastered that skill yet. I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually though. Haha -- in the mean time...he's pretty cute, huh?

I'm quite obsessed. Thanks P&S for bringing the little man over! xx

My little home

This is really just a picture update. Hopefully this will suffice, yeah? Everyone come visit! I have drinks for everyone!! xx

Providence

So Brad commented on my last post about my Westie obsession with a link to a Westie rescue. I DO think that when I get a dog, I'll rescue one, so I did a little research. OH. MY. GOSH. Look at him. His name is Providence. THAT would have to be changed because....lets be honest. Terrible name. I was telling Joe about my Westie obsession and he showed me a picture of his parent's dog that is basically just a bigger Westie - a Cairn Terrier. He is....ADORABLE. His name is Mac...and I want to steal him. Thus....Providence. Obviously not a Westie...but isn't the brown cute? He sort of looks like a Max. I WANT HIM! I hate that I have a job and can't be home with a dog. I think it's unfair to keep a poor dog cooped up in my apartment all day but grrrrr. I want. He needs a little turquoise bandana. Then he would be perfect. :) xx

My future Penny

Have I mentioned that I want a Westie? ....preeeeeetty badly. LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!!! I really would appreciate my mother getting on board with this idea. If she did (Mom, I know you read this...so listen up) then I could have a back up if for some reason I needed to go out of town, needed help in an emergency, etc. She's always talking about how she doesn't want a dog. How could you not want that dog? Pretty much the cutest thing in the world. I think my mom would love a little dog. Not yappy, not smelly and gross...just a nice little friend who makes you smile because she's so cute. Does everyone remember how much she loved Timber? Mom -- don't even pretend you didn't adore that dog. Mostly because he was a little slow (lets be honest) but the fact remains the same. She likes dogs when they are nice.

Not sure how this turned in to a "Mom why don't you want a dog" post. I really have thought about this a lot. I don't think it's very fair to have a dog in an apartment. At the same time -- everyone has one! And what if it's a wee little dog, like my beloved Westie? I'm not talking about having a great dane in 800 square feet. I think a 15 pound dog could make do sharing space with me...right? Realistically...who knows what I will do. But...I want. And if I do? I think I'll name it Penny. That's all I got. xx

Lucille

2011 is apparently a year of new things for me. First a new job (oh my gosh! Did I say that yet?? I got a promotion at work and have a new job starting in March. :)...that was probably big enough news to have its very own post but...eh...moving on!), then a new apartment and then....a new car. The new car was definitely not a planned purchase. Some drunk b word ran in to my parked car in a parking lot and then took off. She....is a moron. Some lovely gentleman gave me her license plate number, called the cops, called insurance...blah blah. So the funny part is the police call me the next day -- the girl turned herself in because she ran in to FIVE cars. Not one, not two, not three, but FIVE. At what point when you are wasted do you think, "hmm. Maybe I'm too drunk to be driving right now. Whoopsies, just ran in to a car. Uh oh! Another one! Damn! One more!" Seriously. That happened five times and at no point did she ever think to call a flippin' taxi?! Anyway. She totalled my car and I had to buy a new one. I would like to introduce....Lucille. Sarah thought of the name and I was immediately in love with it. I believe Lucille and I will have a very happy life together. Hopefully this will be a more successful relationship that my last car relationship. I'll keep you posted.

Moving

What a nightmare. They were late late late, I was cranky, my bed got stuck. That about sums up the mood. The good news? I MOVED! I will have to post about my apartment -- but I don't have new pictures yet. As soon as I do...I'll try to post that post. THIS post however is almost purely to post this pictures. I don't know, I think it's so funny. These guys were p*ssed at me because I kept making them try to fit this damn box spring up my stairs. FINALLY (after a little bending and chunks of wood missing from the staircase) my box spring made it in to my room. Amazing.

Thankfully all of that is over with and I don't plan on moving any time soon. Isn't it funny how the only time we think it's not a pain to move is only after we have forgotten what a pain in the a$s it was the last time? Ugh.

More pictures to come of my very own little apartment. :) xx

Work for me right now

Christmas 2010

11 little stockings this year. I wonder how many there are going to be all together..... :) Good holiday!

Oops I crapped my pants.

So I go to get our mail last week and there is this cardboard box. Hmm. What could this be? Surely Mom ordered something....or something. But wait, it's addressed to me. Interesting. From "Young America Corporation Distribution Center". ?????

I turn it over and find this:

Hmm. Looks to me like free samples of tampons or something from 8th grade. So I'm like, what the h is this? So I open it up to find a bundle of joy:

In case you can't read that, this is ADULT UNDERWEAR! Naturally the first thing I did was run to get my phone and call Amy. Duh. Her one question was the only thing on my mind also "How the hell did you get on THAT mailing list??" Ugh. Enough said.

Not so fast

So I wrote the last blog I wrote waaaay to quickly. QUITE the eventful night. I should start out by saying that my mom is substituting at St. Mary of Carmel. This school might be awesome...but the constantina wire surrounding the building made me (rightfully so) extremely nervous. I don't love the idea of my mom working somewhere that they find constantina wire to be necessary. Moving on....

I'm sitting in the auditorium waiting for my mom to come back and this dumb show to start. Stage right: Fat man enters and approaches the microphone.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we are going to have to cancel the show. Unfortunately a man has decided to pull a gun on another parent and I'm being forced to ask everyone to evacuate the building for your safety and that of the children. I apologize -- we will try to put the show on tomorrow."

What the &*$#??! Not normal. Not okay. But no problem. We'll just try again tomorrow.....

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

As I write this first (very short) blog in...well....months...I am sitting at a keyboard (that's right. No pianos for us, but BAD ASS keyboards) in a gymnasium of a grade school. Why, prey tell am I in a gym with a keboard?

That's why. My cute little Momma. Maracas, tambourines, jingle bells and yes, a keyboard is her way of spreading a little Christmas Cheer. I got roped in to turn the pages as she plays. :/

I promise to blog more but I had to share her sarcastic smile with all of my little blog followers (let's be honest....maybe Anne, Amy, and Pat if I'm lucky).